1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:06,040 This programme contains some strong language and some scenes of a sexual nature 2 00:00:06,040 --> 00:00:06,760 Argh! Argh! 3 00:00:07,680 --> 00:00:11,240 HE LAUGHS NERVOUSLY How could that be a ghost? 4 00:00:11,240 --> 00:00:13,680 The building isn't even that old. 5 00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:15,880 Get it together, Stanley. Get it together. 6 00:00:15,880 --> 00:00:19,440 Remember, you are Stan the man 7 00:00:19,440 --> 00:00:21,880 with the master plan. 8 00:00:25,440 --> 00:00:26,680 Come on. 9 00:00:27,960 --> 00:00:30,280 Let's get some food, innit? Said you were hungry. 10 00:00:30,280 --> 00:00:31,720 All right, let me whip us something, man. 11 00:00:31,720 --> 00:00:34,360 You know, I'm a young Ainsley Harriott, innit. 12 00:00:34,360 --> 00:00:36,640 All right, check if they've got any eggs in there. 13 00:00:36,640 --> 00:00:38,720 And salmon as well. 14 00:00:38,720 --> 00:00:40,960 Chardonnay, caviar. 15 00:00:40,960 --> 00:00:42,760 What we got? 16 00:00:42,760 --> 00:00:44,600 Fishcakes. Sorry, bruv. 17 00:00:44,600 --> 00:00:48,080 Fishcake? Mm-hm. Hundred bag education for a fishcake, bro? 18 00:00:48,080 --> 00:00:49,960 Don't ask me. I'm not paying. 19 00:00:58,960 --> 00:01:01,440 I'm cutting, bro. 20 00:01:01,440 --> 00:01:03,720 They are onto me, man. 21 00:01:03,720 --> 00:01:06,640 Ain't taking it to court either, no way. 22 00:01:06,640 --> 00:01:09,600 You're on bail? Yeah. It's a bit tecky. 23 00:01:11,040 --> 00:01:12,760 Yeah, it's long. 24 00:01:13,960 --> 00:01:15,000 I've just got to... 25 00:01:16,600 --> 00:01:19,160 ..lay low elsewhere, you get me? 26 00:01:19,160 --> 00:01:21,920 Obviously, man ain't working at the moment, so... 27 00:01:21,920 --> 00:01:24,160 ..I ain't going to be able to run Caleb that bread no more. 28 00:01:24,160 --> 00:01:26,160 Leave Caleb to me, man. 29 00:01:26,160 --> 00:01:29,040 Now's not the time to be warring with Caleb, you know. 30 00:01:29,040 --> 00:01:30,520 He'll be fine. 31 00:01:30,520 --> 00:01:32,360 Bruv, if man's not there supporting him, 32 00:01:32,360 --> 00:01:34,080 do you want him chilling on the block? 33 00:01:34,080 --> 00:01:35,320 You can't let that happen. 34 00:01:35,320 --> 00:01:36,560 DOOR OPENS H—hello? 35 00:01:36,560 --> 00:01:37,800 OK, that is our cue. Let's go. 36 00:01:37,800 --> 00:01:39,640 Hello? Who's that? 37 00:01:39,640 --> 00:01:44,320 Repeat, by Sways 38 00:01:56,480 --> 00:01:59,680 It's quite a grainy image, so it's pretty hard to see who 39 00:01:59,680 --> 00:02:04,480 those two reprobates even are, but I can ask around for you. 40 00:02:04,480 --> 00:02:07,280 We've had the video sent off for further analysis. 41 00:02:07,280 --> 00:02:10,280 Great. Well, please keep me posted with your investigation 42 00:02:10,280 --> 00:02:13,440 and do let me know if I can be of any help. 43 00:02:13,440 --> 00:02:14,480 Hmm. 44 00:02:24,360 --> 00:02:26,680 SNORING 45 00:02:28,480 --> 00:02:30,440 Yo. 46 00:02:30,440 --> 00:02:32,120 It won't be long. Promise. 47 00:02:32,120 --> 00:02:33,160 Just a few days. 48 00:02:54,760 --> 00:02:57,200 HE GROANS 49 00:02:57,200 --> 00:02:59,120 Oh, God. All right. 50 00:03:04,640 --> 00:03:06,320 Yes! 51 00:03:11,080 --> 00:03:13,840 Stay put, man. Do not leave this room. 52 00:03:16,760 --> 00:03:20,440 What's she got? Nothing yet, which is why we really need to get 53 00:03:20,440 --> 00:03:23,120 that bitch gone before she comes out with the receipts. OK, don't worry. 54 00:03:23,120 --> 00:03:24,480 OK? I got you. 55 00:03:24,480 --> 00:03:26,720 You've got me in a whole lot of trouble. Listen. 56 00:03:26,720 --> 00:03:29,880 This next plan, it needs to work. 57 00:03:29,880 --> 00:03:35,040 OK. Anarchism has much to offer the black liberation movement, 58 00:03:35,040 --> 00:03:37,840 IF we are bold enough to seize it. Who said that? 59 00:03:37,840 --> 00:03:41,160 You know full well it was Lorenzo Kom'boa Ervin, girl. 60 00:03:41,160 --> 00:03:42,760 Oh, OK. 61 00:03:42,760 --> 00:03:46,080 And... 62 00:03:46,080 --> 00:03:49,840 ..look how many people are coming to the ACS meeting at lunchtime. 63 00:03:49,840 --> 00:03:51,760 I didn't...I didn't know there was an ACS today. 64 00:03:51,760 --> 00:03:53,880 Yeah. Yeah, I texted you. 65 00:03:53,880 --> 00:03:56,120 There, you see. Four-five-two, that's you, right? 66 00:03:56,120 --> 00:03:58,240 Hm-mm, that is not me. 67 00:03:58,240 --> 00:03:59,760 Oh. 68 00:03:59,760 --> 00:04:01,800 It must be the British numbers, you know. 69 00:04:01,800 --> 00:04:04,280 Same numeral system as the US. Anyways, you need to be there. OK? 70 00:04:04,280 --> 00:04:07,040 Of course. Yeah? We're going to rally the troops. Mm-mm. Right? 71 00:04:07,040 --> 00:04:08,760 And we're going to get that bitch... 72 00:04:08,760 --> 00:04:10,360 ..gone. 73 00:04:10,360 --> 00:04:13,600 I know, I know. Right, so see you at lunch? At lunch. Oh, wait. 74 00:04:13,600 --> 00:04:17,760 And bring ideas, OK? Of course. I'll get more people. Mm. 75 00:04:17,760 --> 00:04:19,040 It's a movement! It's a movement. 76 00:04:19,040 --> 00:04:20,240 It's a what? 77 00:04:20,240 --> 00:04:21,280 It's a what? 78 00:04:23,520 --> 00:04:25,480 I'll see you. In a bit, in a bit. 79 00:04:26,680 --> 00:04:29,280 Why don't you just text Dilton hi? I can't just say hi. 80 00:04:29,280 --> 00:04:30,600 I bailed on him. 81 00:04:30,600 --> 00:04:32,600 No explanation, nothing. 82 00:04:32,600 --> 00:04:34,240 What's going on? 83 00:04:34,240 --> 00:04:36,680 Omar is struggling to text Dilton. 84 00:04:38,000 --> 00:04:42,120 How he stepped further away from dick is beyond me. 85 00:04:42,120 --> 00:04:46,240 Look, it's not that simple, right? Not after... 86 00:04:46,240 --> 00:04:49,400 Look, you've got to keep this proper hush-hush, all right? 87 00:04:49,400 --> 00:04:53,160 But the Raisinettes, they have this, like, wall of secrets 88 00:04:53,160 --> 00:04:55,360 and Dilton is up there. 89 00:04:59,200 --> 00:05:01,160 Oh, sorry. At the same time? Yeah. 90 00:05:01,160 --> 00:05:04,320 G'wan, Dilton! Oh, my days. 91 00:05:04,320 --> 00:05:07,400 HE SIGHS Right, you know what you do? 92 00:05:07,400 --> 00:05:10,360 Message him, yeah? Be like, 93 00:05:10,360 --> 00:05:14,760 "What you saying? When we going to link up and paint... 94 00:05:14,760 --> 00:05:16,360 "..paint with our dicks?" 95 00:05:16,360 --> 00:05:18,200 Toby, why you got to be so crass? 96 00:05:18,200 --> 00:05:19,720 Crass? Yes. 97 00:05:19,720 --> 00:05:21,440 How? This is my cue. 98 00:05:23,360 --> 00:05:24,640 I'm crass? 99 00:05:24,640 --> 00:05:25,880 Later. 100 00:05:26,800 --> 00:05:29,920 PHONE VIBRATES 101 00:05:38,920 --> 00:05:40,040 I just don't think it's that deep. 102 00:05:40,040 --> 00:05:42,600 Look, I don't care how many people he's been with, 103 00:05:42,600 --> 00:05:46,200 but how do I compete with all of his experience? 104 00:05:46,200 --> 00:05:47,720 Pass me your phone. 105 00:05:50,400 --> 00:05:52,840 You've got to be like, 106 00:05:52,840 --> 00:05:57,040 "Hey, Dilton, I am truly humbled 107 00:05:57,040 --> 00:05:59,280 "by your experience 108 00:05:59,280 --> 00:06:02,400 "and I was thinking maybe you could teach me..." 109 00:06:02,400 --> 00:06:05,480 No, he doesn't need to know I'm a loser. 110 00:06:05,480 --> 00:06:07,800 Virgins aren't losers, Omar. 111 00:06:07,800 --> 00:06:09,440 GIGGLING 112 00:06:09,440 --> 00:06:11,200 PHONE VIBRATES 113 00:06:11,200 --> 00:06:14,440 Anyways, why in the bloodclart is Rupert messaging you? 114 00:06:14,440 --> 00:06:16,440 He wanted me to bring him his homework. 115 00:06:16,440 --> 00:06:18,520 Come again? Obviously, I said no. 116 00:06:18,520 --> 00:06:20,000 He bullied you! 117 00:06:20,000 --> 00:06:21,600 Promise me you won't go to his yard. 118 00:06:21,600 --> 00:06:23,120 I just want to check if he's OK. 119 00:06:24,440 --> 00:06:26,200 Argh! Leah, you're hurting me! 120 00:06:26,200 --> 00:06:28,160 Promise me, then. OK, OK. Fine, fine, fine. 121 00:06:28,160 --> 00:06:29,720 I promise. 122 00:06:29,720 --> 00:06:31,640 Why don't I believe you? 123 00:06:31,640 --> 00:06:33,720 What are you even doing here anyway? 124 00:06:33,720 --> 00:06:35,240 You're not even in this class. 125 00:06:50,000 --> 00:06:53,800 Dear Black Jesus, hook a brother up with a tasty hookup. 126 00:06:53,800 --> 00:06:56,400 I swear, I'm churching every Sunday. 127 00:06:56,400 --> 00:06:58,960 Toby! 128 00:06:58,960 --> 00:07:01,640 My G! Obviously, not every Sunday. 129 00:07:01,640 --> 00:07:03,880 My man. 130 00:07:03,880 --> 00:07:05,440 Devonye. 131 00:07:05,440 --> 00:07:08,080 Nice to meet you. Lovely to meet you, Devonye. 132 00:07:08,080 --> 00:07:10,240 Uh, how may I help? 133 00:07:10,240 --> 00:07:13,200 Are you free now? For you? Always. 134 00:07:13,200 --> 00:07:15,320 That's what I like to hear. OK, let's go. 135 00:07:18,560 --> 00:07:21,480 So, I hear you're the man with all the ideas. 136 00:07:29,040 --> 00:07:31,840 Leah! You're here. Hey. 137 00:07:31,840 --> 00:07:33,400 What's going on? 138 00:07:33,400 --> 00:07:36,120 OK, so we have the dopest idea for the next event. 139 00:07:36,120 --> 00:07:37,520 Sick, so do I. 140 00:07:37,520 --> 00:07:39,480 Basically, this is my... 141 00:07:39,480 --> 00:07:40,840 Let me get it up. 142 00:07:40,840 --> 00:07:42,080 My Fuck Carol speech. 143 00:07:42,080 --> 00:07:44,960 It's not really needed cos we have the wheels in motion. 144 00:07:44,960 --> 00:07:48,360 It's called Sleepover For Change. 145 00:07:50,080 --> 00:07:52,120 OK. Is it, um... 146 00:07:52,120 --> 00:07:53,880 It was Toby's idea. 147 00:07:53,880 --> 00:07:56,320 Toby, you've joined ACS. 148 00:07:56,320 --> 00:07:57,680 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 149 00:07:57,680 --> 00:07:58,720 I wonder why. 150 00:08:01,840 --> 00:08:03,160 Tell her your idea. 151 00:08:04,640 --> 00:08:07,040 Yeah, yeah. OK. OK. 152 00:08:07,040 --> 00:08:08,720 It's a sleepover. Hm-mm. 153 00:08:08,720 --> 00:08:11,160 Everyone will rock up in their jimmy-jammies. 154 00:08:11,160 --> 00:08:15,360 We'll ask for a small donation, then we'll put on a film. 155 00:08:15,360 --> 00:08:19,240 Something like, uh, 12 Years A Slave or something like that. 156 00:08:19,240 --> 00:08:22,760 Basically, a film that makes white people feel bad for being 157 00:08:22,760 --> 00:08:26,160 themselves. Yeah. So, a bunch of upper years 158 00:08:26,160 --> 00:08:28,760 in a dark room, pillows, blankets. 159 00:08:28,760 --> 00:08:31,320 I don't know, it sounds like a orgy to me. Yeah, but... 160 00:08:33,600 --> 00:08:34,920 ..it's for charity, innit? 161 00:08:34,920 --> 00:08:38,720 SHE GASPS We should do it in the school yurt. 162 00:08:40,840 --> 00:08:44,800 Yeah. Guys, it is lit, but one question. 163 00:08:44,800 --> 00:08:47,240 What has this got to do with our scholarships? 164 00:08:47,240 --> 00:08:50,440 To entertain, to engage. 165 00:08:50,440 --> 00:08:53,640 Artists are the gatekeepers of truth. 166 00:08:53,640 --> 00:08:57,160 We are civilization's anchor. 167 00:08:57,160 --> 00:09:01,200 We are the compass for humanity's conscience. Mm. 168 00:09:03,520 --> 00:09:05,120 Again, who? Oh, thank you. 169 00:09:05,120 --> 00:09:08,040 It was Paul Robeson, you funny girl. 170 00:09:08,040 --> 00:09:10,880 You knew that, didn't you? Yeah, 'course. 171 00:09:10,880 --> 00:09:12,520 OK. Let's get to work. 172 00:09:14,000 --> 00:09:17,160 OK, I completely underestimated her. 173 00:09:17,160 --> 00:09:19,760 I love her. 174 00:09:46,480 --> 00:09:49,000 So, Mr Adebayo... If this is about the medical room, 175 00:09:49,000 --> 00:09:51,880 I have no idea about it. I actually even saw it on... 176 00:09:53,880 --> 00:09:55,600 I-I know, Mistress. 177 00:09:55,600 --> 00:09:56,960 I know this stuff. I do. 178 00:09:56,960 --> 00:10:00,160 I-I-I think it's just the pressure and I panic. 179 00:10:00,160 --> 00:10:03,640 I don't think it's beneficial for you or the school to prolong this... 180 00:10:03,640 --> 00:10:07,360 ..very painful experience, wouldn't you agree? 181 00:10:07,360 --> 00:10:08,920 Yes, Mistress. 182 00:10:08,920 --> 00:10:11,000 Tried to contact your parents. 183 00:10:11,000 --> 00:10:14,040 I don't seem to have their current number on file. 184 00:10:14,040 --> 00:10:16,360 It's missing a dialling code. Ah. 185 00:10:20,000 --> 00:10:21,880 Plus... 186 00:10:21,880 --> 00:10:23,280 ..two... 187 00:10:24,960 --> 00:10:26,400 ..three... 188 00:10:27,680 --> 00:10:28,880 ..four. 189 00:10:30,160 --> 00:10:33,000 I wasn't aware your family were living abroad. 190 00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:36,400 My dad's business is in Lagos, and here... 191 00:10:36,400 --> 00:10:39,640 ..but mostly there. Global. 192 00:10:40,720 --> 00:10:43,600 It does beg the question why you're on a fully funded scholarship 193 00:10:43,600 --> 00:10:45,480 when he seems to be doing so well. 194 00:10:47,840 --> 00:10:51,520 Though I suppose it would be unfair of me not to take 195 00:10:51,520 --> 00:10:54,200 these panic attacks of yours into account. 196 00:10:54,200 --> 00:10:56,840 If I can see a steady improvement in your work, 197 00:10:56,840 --> 00:10:59,920 I see no reason why you have to leave immediately. Really?! 198 00:11:01,040 --> 00:11:03,040 A lot to improve on. 199 00:11:03,040 --> 00:11:04,240 History, maths... 200 00:11:04,240 --> 00:11:06,120 I'll improve on all of them, I promise. 201 00:11:06,120 --> 00:11:09,520 You've also signed up for the drama society. 202 00:11:09,520 --> 00:11:11,440 Eeee... Yeah, yeah. 203 00:11:11,440 --> 00:11:14,720 Er, but work is more important, so I can... No. 204 00:11:14,720 --> 00:11:17,400 I think drama would be beneficial for you. 205 00:11:17,400 --> 00:11:21,000 I trust you'll be performing at the showcase. 206 00:11:21,000 --> 00:11:23,040 Showcase? 207 00:11:23,040 --> 00:11:26,040 I mean, yeah, the showcase! 208 00:11:26,040 --> 00:11:27,440 Great. Of course. 209 00:11:27,440 --> 00:11:30,000 And do not throw away this second chance. 210 00:11:30,000 --> 00:11:31,640 Is that clear? Yes, Mistress. 211 00:11:33,320 --> 00:11:34,600 Well... 212 00:11:36,960 --> 00:11:38,000 Thank you. 213 00:11:41,960 --> 00:11:44,360 DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES 214 00:11:50,880 --> 00:11:53,400 Hello. Can I speak with Mr Adebayo? 215 00:12:12,480 --> 00:12:14,720 Well, are you going to come in or are you just going to 216 00:12:14,720 --> 00:12:17,160 stand there with your mouth open like you're waiting for a dick to... 217 00:12:17,160 --> 00:12:20,240 Wait, wait, I'm sorry. 218 00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:22,640 Look, come in... 219 00:12:22,640 --> 00:12:24,920 ..please. The door's open. 220 00:12:29,240 --> 00:12:32,120 Local X Global, by Matthew James 221 00:12:37,160 --> 00:12:39,000 I swear this job said formal wear. 222 00:12:39,000 --> 00:12:40,680 Yeah, what, this ain't formal? 223 00:12:40,680 --> 00:12:41,720 If you say so. 224 00:12:44,920 --> 00:12:47,560 Maybe Xiang's got something you can wear. 225 00:12:50,120 --> 00:12:52,800 There it is. Controller's in the drawer. Biscuits are there. 226 00:12:52,800 --> 00:12:55,240 They're Xiang's. Do whatever with them, I don't mind. 227 00:12:55,240 --> 00:12:57,160 Xiang's, but it don't matter? 228 00:12:57,160 --> 00:12:59,640 You know he's going to hate me even more if I take his stuff. 229 00:12:59,640 --> 00:13:03,160 Please, don't move, right, or I'm fucked. 230 00:13:03,160 --> 00:13:04,880 Love, bro. Yeah? 231 00:13:05,880 --> 00:13:07,560 Love. Thank you. 232 00:13:07,560 --> 00:13:09,200 I'll be back soon. 233 00:13:09,200 --> 00:13:12,080 DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES 234 00:13:29,680 --> 00:13:32,040 HE SIGHS 235 00:13:33,160 --> 00:13:35,720 Carol says that pottery is therapeutic. 236 00:13:37,680 --> 00:13:40,200 You should try it. It's very relaxing. 237 00:13:40,200 --> 00:13:41,680 Just quickly, er... 238 00:13:41,680 --> 00:13:44,000 ..get a little wiggle on it. There you go. 239 00:13:44,000 --> 00:13:45,920 Some length to it. 240 00:13:45,920 --> 00:13:47,320 Give it a go. 241 00:13:47,320 --> 00:13:49,560 Is...is therapy... 242 00:13:49,560 --> 00:13:52,120 ..therapeutic stuff what you need? 243 00:13:52,120 --> 00:13:53,680 How are you? 244 00:13:56,840 --> 00:13:59,480 So, has Dilton put it up your arse yet? 245 00:14:00,800 --> 00:14:02,800 I haven't seen you for weeks and that's the first thing you ask me? 246 00:14:02,800 --> 00:14:04,280 Take that as a no then. 247 00:14:05,360 --> 00:14:06,600 What's the issue? 248 00:14:06,600 --> 00:14:08,840 It's...complicated. 249 00:14:08,840 --> 00:14:11,000 Sounds like you're making it complicated. 250 00:14:11,000 --> 00:14:12,840 Then why am I here? 251 00:14:12,840 --> 00:14:15,120 If it's relationship advice, I don't need it. 252 00:14:15,120 --> 00:14:17,240 Oh, my God, look, I just needed homework. 253 00:14:17,240 --> 00:14:19,320 OK? But Florence didn't want to bring it and I haven't really 254 00:14:19,320 --> 00:14:22,360 been speaking to Spencer or Bishop, so, yeah. 255 00:14:24,000 --> 00:14:26,880 Your stuff's still in our dorm. 256 00:14:26,880 --> 00:14:29,160 I'm guessing you're coming back. 257 00:14:31,440 --> 00:14:33,800 Look, I've not been feeling my best. 258 00:14:33,800 --> 00:14:37,160 So, Carol thought it'd be good if I had a little break. 259 00:14:37,160 --> 00:14:39,040 Appearance is everything. 260 00:14:41,360 --> 00:14:42,800 Where's your bathroom? 261 00:14:42,800 --> 00:14:44,240 You'll find it. 262 00:14:50,040 --> 00:14:51,400 Just wank him off! 263 00:14:51,400 --> 00:14:52,720 It's not that hard. 264 00:15:13,160 --> 00:15:15,240 KNOCKING AT DOOR 265 00:15:22,920 --> 00:15:24,720 I've come to apologise. 266 00:15:29,520 --> 00:15:31,720 I'm not usually that kind of kid. 267 00:15:32,960 --> 00:15:35,800 We came for a laugh and I got carried away. 268 00:15:37,360 --> 00:15:39,840 What I said was out of order and... 269 00:15:40,840 --> 00:15:44,000 ..I'm sorry. Really. 270 00:15:44,000 --> 00:15:46,040 Noted. Anything else? 271 00:15:48,560 --> 00:15:51,920 I was also wondering if... 272 00:15:51,920 --> 00:15:55,960 ..maybe I could... 273 00:15:55,960 --> 00:15:58,360 ..rejoin Drama Society? 274 00:15:58,360 --> 00:16:01,640 I'm not in the habit of teaching obnoxious little pricks. 275 00:16:01,640 --> 00:16:03,360 Please. I... 276 00:16:03,360 --> 00:16:04,720 ..I'm begging you. 277 00:16:04,720 --> 00:16:05,840 I was a prick. 278 00:16:05,840 --> 00:16:10,320 I know. And I'm so, so, so sorry. 279 00:16:10,320 --> 00:16:13,520 But I have been fucking up like crazy 280 00:16:13,520 --> 00:16:15,800 and I've been given another chance. 281 00:16:15,800 --> 00:16:18,160 And...I need this. 282 00:16:19,280 --> 00:16:20,680 Please. 283 00:16:22,320 --> 00:16:23,640 So, you need me? 284 00:16:28,440 --> 00:16:30,200 This will be fun. 285 00:16:31,680 --> 00:16:33,800 Do you have a nail brush or something? 286 00:16:33,800 --> 00:16:35,600 I can't get this out of my nails. 287 00:16:38,880 --> 00:16:41,400 What did you do? 288 00:16:41,400 --> 00:16:42,960 How'd you get into my phone? 289 00:16:42,960 --> 00:16:45,360 Easy. It's your birthday. 290 00:16:45,360 --> 00:16:48,040 The fact I remembered, shows how strong our friendship is, right? 291 00:16:48,040 --> 00:16:50,640 What did you text him? Just trust me, it'll work. 292 00:16:50,640 --> 00:16:53,720 I mean it when I say it, don't ever fucking contact me again. 293 00:16:53,720 --> 00:16:54,960 Oooh! 294 00:16:58,400 --> 00:17:00,240 HE SIGHS 295 00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:49,840 Yes! Woo! 296 00:18:01,160 --> 00:18:02,640 Can I help you? 297 00:18:02,640 --> 00:18:05,440 Oh, hi. I'm...I'm Jaheim Marsham, I'm working the... 298 00:18:05,440 --> 00:18:07,960 Oh! Jaheim Marsham. 299 00:18:07,960 --> 00:18:10,600 Yes. Hello, hello. 300 00:18:10,600 --> 00:18:13,240 Thank you very much for following the uniform brief. 301 00:18:13,240 --> 00:18:15,320 Very dapper, very dapper. Thank you. 302 00:18:16,640 --> 00:18:19,800 Oh? Uh, oh, sorry, um... 303 00:18:19,800 --> 00:18:21,280 I'm Alan, 304 00:18:21,280 --> 00:18:25,640 both host and protagonist of this dreadfully garish birthday. 305 00:18:25,640 --> 00:18:27,040 Well, happy birthday. 306 00:18:27,040 --> 00:18:29,000 Oh, it's not a big birthday. 307 00:18:29,000 --> 00:18:31,560 It's a birthday, nonetheless. 308 00:18:31,560 --> 00:18:36,320 Um, now, some people call me a perfectionist, I'm not. 309 00:18:37,440 --> 00:18:39,760 You'll be working the cloakroom. Have you worked a cloakroom before? 310 00:18:39,760 --> 00:18:43,160 No. No?! I can learn fast. I promise, I'm... 311 00:18:44,880 --> 00:18:46,000 Coats. 312 00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:47,560 There are two tokens. 313 00:18:47,560 --> 00:18:50,640 One token stays on the hanger. 314 00:18:50,640 --> 00:18:54,920 The corresponding token goes to the owner. 315 00:18:54,920 --> 00:18:56,560 Got you. 316 00:18:56,560 --> 00:18:58,400 Shall we practise? 317 00:18:58,400 --> 00:18:59,840 OK. Yeah, sure. 318 00:18:59,840 --> 00:19:03,040 May I? Yeah. Um...sorry. 319 00:19:03,040 --> 00:19:04,280 Here you go. 320 00:19:11,280 --> 00:19:12,600 I do hope they have a cloakroom. 321 00:19:12,600 --> 00:19:15,160 Good evening. Hello. Hi. Here, let me take that. 322 00:19:15,160 --> 00:19:16,400 Thank you. 323 00:19:16,400 --> 00:19:18,920 Um, pop this on here. 324 00:19:20,400 --> 00:19:22,640 Number eight, was it? I think it was number eight. Yes. 325 00:19:22,640 --> 00:19:24,400 There you go. There you are. 326 00:19:27,520 --> 00:19:29,640 I don't suppose we have time to do it again. 327 00:19:29,640 --> 00:19:32,680 You can just run it through a few times yourself. 328 00:19:32,680 --> 00:19:34,200 Cool. Yeah. 329 00:19:34,200 --> 00:19:37,760 Um, sorry to be like this, but pay, when do we get paid? 330 00:19:37,760 --> 00:19:40,760 End of the evening. But I really need you to focus on the coats! 331 00:19:49,240 --> 00:19:51,080 Jaheim? 332 00:19:51,080 --> 00:19:54,960 Bea! Oh, my... Um, sorry, I just, um... 333 00:19:54,960 --> 00:19:57,480 Sorry, I didn't expect to see you here. 334 00:19:57,480 --> 00:19:59,920 Yeah. Quite...quite the outfit. 335 00:19:59,920 --> 00:20:03,680 Uh, yeah. I do try sometimes, don't I? 336 00:20:03,680 --> 00:20:05,400 Um, you work here? 337 00:20:05,400 --> 00:20:06,680 Uh, yeah. 338 00:20:06,680 --> 00:20:08,600 Now I feel underdressed. 339 00:20:08,600 --> 00:20:10,760 My bad. Um... 340 00:20:10,760 --> 00:20:13,040 ..you do this often or is it just a...? 341 00:20:13,040 --> 00:20:15,280 Oh, no, it's, like, a fairly new thing. 342 00:20:15,280 --> 00:20:17,160 Yeah. Sorry, I didn't know. I wouldn't have... 343 00:20:17,160 --> 00:20:20,280 No, no, it's not something that I shout from the rooftops. 344 00:20:20,280 --> 00:20:22,520 "It girl has a part-time job." 345 00:20:22,520 --> 00:20:24,480 Yeah. Understandable. Yeah. 346 00:20:24,480 --> 00:20:27,600 First guest! Places, places, big smiles. 347 00:20:28,840 --> 00:20:30,280 Just...less teeth. 348 00:20:30,280 --> 00:20:31,600 Much less teeth. 349 00:20:31,600 --> 00:20:33,320 Well, some teeth. Come on. 350 00:20:33,320 --> 00:20:35,240 Just smile like a normal person! 351 00:20:36,400 --> 00:20:37,880 You know, relax! 352 00:20:37,880 --> 00:20:40,160 We're working, but it's a party. 353 00:20:40,160 --> 00:20:41,680 Alan! 354 00:20:41,680 --> 00:20:43,480 Coming! 355 00:20:46,120 --> 00:20:48,160 Coming! 356 00:20:48,160 --> 00:20:49,480 There we are. 357 00:20:49,480 --> 00:20:51,680 BEA LAUGHS 358 00:20:51,680 --> 00:20:55,280 Oooh! Oh, dear. Right, I'm going to leave you to it. Yeah. 359 00:20:55,280 --> 00:20:56,880 You do you. 360 00:21:00,080 --> 00:21:03,160 APPLAUSE That was great. Great. 361 00:21:04,480 --> 00:21:07,840 When I said, "Pick a monologue," I meant from a play, 362 00:21:07,840 --> 00:21:09,400 not Cruel Intentions. 363 00:21:10,800 --> 00:21:12,920 OK. Who's next? 364 00:21:12,920 --> 00:21:15,160 Over here! Here, Miss! 365 00:21:15,160 --> 00:21:17,360 Let's welcome Femi to the stage. 366 00:21:26,480 --> 00:21:29,000 I don't have a speech. Why not? 367 00:21:29,000 --> 00:21:31,120 Uh, I-I was, um... 368 00:21:31,120 --> 00:21:32,280 Oh, of course. 369 00:21:32,280 --> 00:21:36,320 Because you were acting like a cock ring last time you were here. 370 00:21:36,320 --> 00:21:39,160 From one of my first plays. 371 00:21:39,160 --> 00:21:42,400 I was reading a lot of in-your-face theatre at the time. 372 00:21:42,400 --> 00:21:45,800 Absolutely panned by the critics, but I still love it. 373 00:21:45,800 --> 00:21:47,440 Page one. 374 00:21:50,360 --> 00:21:51,960 When you're ready. 375 00:21:56,280 --> 00:22:00,520 I see him looking at me, 376 00:22:00,520 --> 00:22:03,560 desperate to take me, 377 00:22:03,560 --> 00:22:08,280 desperate to put himself inside of me. 378 00:22:08,280 --> 00:22:11,000 It's actually the character's first sexual experience, 379 00:22:11,000 --> 00:22:12,640 so she should sound more excited, 380 00:22:12,640 --> 00:22:13,920 Hmm. 381 00:22:16,440 --> 00:22:22,120 Desperate, desperate, desperate to be all over me. 382 00:22:22,120 --> 00:22:24,320 Grab my tits and... 383 00:22:24,320 --> 00:22:28,880 LAUGHTER ..shower his liquid love 384 00:22:28,880 --> 00:22:30,320 all over me. 385 00:22:30,320 --> 00:22:32,880 She's actually turning herself on as she speaks. 386 00:22:34,200 --> 00:22:38,440 HE MOANS 387 00:22:38,440 --> 00:22:39,760 LAUGHTER 388 00:22:39,760 --> 00:22:43,720 I imagine his seed is silky... 389 00:22:43,720 --> 00:22:46,160 HE MOANS 390 00:22:46,160 --> 00:22:49,120 ..soft, warm to the touch. 391 00:22:49,120 --> 00:22:51,080 Maybe add some visuals to the words. 392 00:22:51,080 --> 00:22:52,880 Hmm. 393 00:22:55,920 --> 00:22:58,680 HE GROANS 394 00:22:58,680 --> 00:23:02,120 Soft, warm to the touch. 395 00:23:02,120 --> 00:23:04,040 OK. 396 00:23:04,040 --> 00:23:06,240 That was quite poor. 397 00:23:06,240 --> 00:23:08,120 I'd like you to work on that. 398 00:23:11,760 --> 00:23:14,320 OK, who's next? 399 00:23:14,320 --> 00:23:16,160 Would you like to come up here? 400 00:23:17,280 --> 00:23:19,320 Thank you. Thanks, Miss. 401 00:23:27,680 --> 00:23:29,760 Did you enjoy that? Mm... 402 00:23:29,760 --> 00:23:32,680 ..not really. Quite humiliating. 403 00:23:32,680 --> 00:23:35,800 But I guess that was the point. 404 00:23:35,800 --> 00:23:38,880 It's not nice being embarrassed in front of everyone, is it? No. 405 00:23:42,800 --> 00:23:45,400 I was thinking... 406 00:23:45,400 --> 00:23:48,680 ..if I could do something different for the showcase? Oh, don't worry. 407 00:23:48,680 --> 00:23:50,600 I'm not going to force you to do that. 408 00:23:50,600 --> 00:23:53,360 I want to. Like, I need to. 409 00:23:53,360 --> 00:23:57,040 No offence, Femi, genuinely, but you are an awful actor. 410 00:23:57,040 --> 00:23:59,280 I'm willing to put in the work. 411 00:23:59,280 --> 00:24:00,680 Please, Miss... 412 00:24:00,680 --> 00:24:02,040 ..Carol wants it. 413 00:24:03,160 --> 00:24:06,640 Do you even know what the showcase is for? Yeah. 414 00:24:06,640 --> 00:24:09,880 It's so Headmistress can show the board how amazing she is. 415 00:24:09,880 --> 00:24:14,160 All the seats will be filled with students, parents, board members. 416 00:24:14,160 --> 00:24:15,680 It's a big deal. 417 00:24:15,680 --> 00:24:18,840 And if it goes wrong, she will have your balls. 418 00:24:18,840 --> 00:24:21,400 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm up for it. 419 00:24:21,400 --> 00:24:24,960 Well...if you look bad, I look bad, 420 00:24:24,960 --> 00:24:27,440 so let's find you something more appropriate. 421 00:24:27,440 --> 00:24:30,000 Come back tomorrow and we'll find one and practise. 422 00:24:30,000 --> 00:24:34,600 Argh, tomorrow is the sleepover... 423 00:24:34,600 --> 00:24:37,680 ..which I won't be going to, obviously. 424 00:24:39,560 --> 00:24:40,960 See you later, Miss. 425 00:24:42,640 --> 00:24:46,680 PHONE VIBRATES 426 00:24:47,760 --> 00:24:48,800 Yo. 427 00:24:48,800 --> 00:24:50,120 Bro, what's going on? 428 00:24:50,120 --> 00:24:52,560 Bro, I need to use the toilet, but man can't leave the room, bro. 429 00:24:52,560 --> 00:24:55,240 You know I can't afford to get kicked out. Please. 430 00:24:55,240 --> 00:24:59,000 Jaheim! Yo. Sorry, bro, I need to go, actually. 431 00:24:59,000 --> 00:25:00,600 Off the phone, Marsham! 432 00:25:00,600 --> 00:25:02,440 Sorry... 433 00:25:02,440 --> 00:25:04,800 I hate you, you dickhead. 434 00:25:04,800 --> 00:25:06,560 Here, I stole you this from the kitchen. 435 00:25:06,560 --> 00:25:08,160 Oh, yeah? What is it? 436 00:25:08,160 --> 00:25:10,760 Cannoli. Oh, very cheesy. 437 00:25:12,000 --> 00:25:15,680 HE WRETCHES Oh, that is terrible! 438 00:25:15,680 --> 00:25:18,800 Oh, my God. That is terrible. 439 00:25:18,800 --> 00:25:20,920 Right, so you don't like cannoli. 440 00:25:20,920 --> 00:25:24,200 I'll add that to my list of things that I know about you. Hmm. 441 00:25:24,200 --> 00:25:26,840 Am I that bad? Yeah, no, you are that bad. 442 00:25:26,840 --> 00:25:29,040 Well, I think you're digging for something that ain't there. 443 00:25:29,040 --> 00:25:31,440 Right? Hmm. Yeah, what you see is what you get. 444 00:25:31,440 --> 00:25:33,360 I actually think you've got more to you than that, 445 00:25:33,360 --> 00:25:35,960 but it's your call if you want to share it, so... 446 00:25:38,080 --> 00:25:40,640 Well, I do have one question, though. Mm-hm. 447 00:25:40,640 --> 00:25:41,920 How are you going to explain that? 448 00:25:41,920 --> 00:25:43,520 What? Look. 449 00:25:43,520 --> 00:25:44,960 Oh, shi... 450 00:25:46,440 --> 00:25:47,840 Er... Um... 451 00:25:47,840 --> 00:25:49,400 ..get the water, get the water. 452 00:25:49,400 --> 00:25:51,160 Here, here, here. 453 00:25:51,160 --> 00:25:52,800 OK, here's some napkins. 454 00:25:54,800 --> 00:25:56,560 Oh, no, stop, stop! You're making it worse, 455 00:25:56,560 --> 00:25:59,360 you're making it worse. How?! I'm cleaning it up. No, stop. 456 00:25:59,360 --> 00:26:00,960 Stop it. 457 00:26:00,960 --> 00:26:02,640 You ain't going to do nothing better. 458 00:26:02,640 --> 00:26:04,840 Aargh! Eurgh! What's going on? 459 00:26:04,840 --> 00:26:07,120 I'm just trying to make it better! HE CLEARS HIS THROAT 460 00:26:09,240 --> 00:26:11,080 The guy showed me how to take coats 461 00:26:11,080 --> 00:26:13,240 and wasn't even impressed by the way I did it. 462 00:26:13,240 --> 00:26:16,200 At least you didn't get shown how to properly tie up a bin bag. 463 00:26:16,200 --> 00:26:19,240 Wait, what? I was really shit. 464 00:26:19,240 --> 00:26:21,120 How do you not know how to tie up a bin bag? 465 00:26:21,120 --> 00:26:23,080 I had a cleaner, growing up. 466 00:26:23,080 --> 00:26:25,240 We actually had two... Of course! 467 00:26:25,240 --> 00:26:27,480 ..just in case one of them got sick. Mm-hm. 468 00:26:27,480 --> 00:26:30,000 SHE GROANS Well, um, I'm sorry 469 00:26:30,000 --> 00:26:31,280 for getting you fired. 470 00:26:31,280 --> 00:26:33,080 No, no. It's all right. 471 00:26:33,080 --> 00:26:34,920 It was never going to, like, make up the school fees. 472 00:26:34,920 --> 00:26:36,720 It was just a bit of pocket money. 473 00:26:36,720 --> 00:26:39,040 Keeping up appearances. 474 00:26:39,040 --> 00:26:40,840 Expensive being popular. 475 00:26:43,560 --> 00:26:45,200 You going to be all right? 476 00:26:45,200 --> 00:26:46,720 Oh, no, I'm screwed. 477 00:26:49,520 --> 00:26:53,120 Where are my manners? Would you like a backie? 478 00:26:53,120 --> 00:26:54,360 Go on. 479 00:26:56,000 --> 00:26:57,960 You're cool, you're cool. I got you. 480 00:26:57,960 --> 00:26:59,280 I told you. Oh, my God. 481 00:26:59,280 --> 00:27:00,800 You need to stop doubting me. 482 00:27:00,800 --> 00:27:03,640 What did I tell you? 483 00:27:03,640 --> 00:27:06,560 Uh-huh. Here we go. 484 00:27:07,920 --> 00:27:10,040 To St Gilbert's we go! 485 00:27:10,040 --> 00:27:11,520 How much do I owe you? 486 00:27:11,520 --> 00:27:13,400 On the house. Mm. 487 00:27:13,400 --> 00:27:17,600 You did get me fired, so I guess that's the least that you can do. 488 00:27:18,680 --> 00:27:21,840 Well, if you ever need another one, let me know. 489 00:27:23,240 --> 00:27:27,400 Oh, no, I think this should be the last one, for obvious reasons, 490 00:27:27,400 --> 00:27:28,960 but thanks. 491 00:27:31,920 --> 00:27:33,360 See ya. 492 00:27:38,120 --> 00:27:40,600 PHONE VIBRATES 493 00:27:42,440 --> 00:27:44,240 SHOUTING What?! 494 00:27:44,240 --> 00:27:46,840 Yo, yo, yo. Hold on. I'm gonna be there right now. 495 00:27:46,840 --> 00:27:47,880 Yeah? Hold on. 496 00:27:49,560 --> 00:27:51,840 SHOUTING 497 00:27:51,840 --> 00:27:54,320 Get him out! They're my crisps! 498 00:27:54,320 --> 00:27:56,520 "They're my...?!" Move, bruv! He's eating my things! 499 00:27:56,520 --> 00:27:58,080 They're your crisps?! Please... Is it? 500 00:27:58,080 --> 00:28:00,160 Belongs to you, yeah? ..calm down. Read a book! 501 00:28:00,160 --> 00:28:03,560 "Read a book?!" You're lucky. Come on, sit down, chill out! 502 00:28:03,560 --> 00:28:05,440 Guy think this is? Please. 503 00:28:05,440 --> 00:28:07,920 Hey! Hey! Stop. 504 00:28:07,920 --> 00:28:10,480 Wait, it's just crisps, bro, calm down. 505 00:28:10,480 --> 00:28:12,640 You can't buy them here. 506 00:28:12,640 --> 00:28:16,240 But they're still crisps. I don't get it. They're from my family 507 00:28:16,240 --> 00:28:18,760 back in Malaysia, that I don't see, 508 00:28:18,760 --> 00:28:21,160 that I can't pop over to every holiday, that I miss! 509 00:28:21,160 --> 00:28:23,080 OK. I get it. But it's going to be OK. 510 00:28:23,080 --> 00:28:25,840 I'm coming back with Stanley and I'm telling him who's here 511 00:28:25,840 --> 00:28:27,480 and why he's here. 512 00:28:27,480 --> 00:28:28,680 OK. Wait, please. 513 00:28:29,840 --> 00:28:33,800 I'm sorry, but just don't... You don't have to do that, OK? 514 00:28:40,120 --> 00:28:43,000 PHONE LINE RINGS 515 00:28:43,000 --> 00:28:46,320 What? Florence, look, um, Xiang's coming your way, 516 00:28:46,320 --> 00:28:48,120 and I just need you to stall him. Why? 517 00:28:48,120 --> 00:28:50,040 I'll tell you when I next see you, I promise. 518 00:28:50,040 --> 00:28:51,920 Please, just...just do it. 519 00:28:51,920 --> 00:28:54,920 Fine. But you owe me. OK. 520 00:29:02,880 --> 00:29:05,440 Xiang, you're good with computers, right? 521 00:29:05,440 --> 00:29:07,160 I'm busy. Please. 522 00:29:07,160 --> 00:29:08,760 If I don't get this fixed, I'm screwed. 523 00:29:08,760 --> 00:29:10,160 Five minutes. Promise. 524 00:29:11,240 --> 00:29:12,840 Yo, yo, yo, yo! What you doing, bro? 525 00:29:12,840 --> 00:29:14,320 I told you this was a bad idea. 526 00:29:14,320 --> 00:29:15,880 Listen, listen. I'll pattern it, it's minor. 527 00:29:15,880 --> 00:29:18,960 Bro, how? Hmm? I shouldn't even be here. 528 00:29:18,960 --> 00:29:21,840 Listen, bro, stop trying to take care of everyone. 529 00:29:21,840 --> 00:29:24,920 Yeah? I know... You're tired, Jaheim. 530 00:29:24,920 --> 00:29:28,640 I know what I did and it ain't your shit to deal with, yeah? 531 00:29:28,640 --> 00:29:30,760 Just look after yourself, man. 532 00:29:56,400 --> 00:29:59,800 Hey. I really enjoyed your messages. 533 00:29:59,800 --> 00:30:03,680 Oh, uh, well, you're...you're welcome, Dilton. 534 00:30:03,680 --> 00:30:06,400 This is nice. This is...this is nice. I like your T-shirt. 535 00:30:06,400 --> 00:30:08,640 Oh, thank you. Yeah? Yeah. It's good. 536 00:30:08,640 --> 00:30:11,520 I'm going to be late, but are you coming to the sleepover tomorrow? 537 00:30:11,520 --> 00:30:14,400 Yeah. Yeah, sure. For sure, for sure. 538 00:30:17,960 --> 00:30:19,000 OK. 539 00:30:23,720 --> 00:30:25,240 Sleepover? 540 00:30:30,240 --> 00:30:32,520 PHONE VIBRATES REPEATEDLY 541 00:30:32,520 --> 00:30:33,760 Yeah? 542 00:30:33,760 --> 00:30:36,440 Big, big money education and you're answering the phone with, "Yeah"? 543 00:30:36,440 --> 00:30:37,680 Good evening, Gus. How are you? 544 00:30:37,680 --> 00:30:39,920 I'm very well, thank you. 545 00:30:39,920 --> 00:30:41,680 Just checking in. 546 00:30:41,680 --> 00:30:43,480 Just busy. What's up? 547 00:30:43,480 --> 00:30:44,800 Your friend Malachi called. 548 00:30:44,800 --> 00:30:46,640 What'd he say? Nothing. 549 00:30:46,640 --> 00:30:48,080 He, um... 550 00:30:48,080 --> 00:30:50,040 ..he was the one who wanted me to check in. 551 00:30:51,160 --> 00:30:52,360 Everything all right? 552 00:30:52,360 --> 00:30:53,800 Yeah, I'm fine 553 00:30:53,800 --> 00:30:55,840 Grandma? Little brother? 554 00:30:55,840 --> 00:30:57,160 They're good. 555 00:30:57,160 --> 00:30:58,640 Good to hear. 556 00:31:00,400 --> 00:31:03,720 Look, I'm going to be passing your estate, 557 00:31:03,720 --> 00:31:07,080 thought I could swing by your house, you know, 558 00:31:07,080 --> 00:31:09,080 check in on your grandma and your little brother. 559 00:31:09,080 --> 00:31:11,000 Make sure that they're all right, 560 00:31:11,000 --> 00:31:12,720 you know, whilst you're away. 561 00:31:12,720 --> 00:31:15,760 Make sure that they've got everything they need, 562 00:31:15,760 --> 00:31:18,200 if that's all right. Yeah, that's all right. 563 00:31:18,200 --> 00:31:21,320 Thank you, man. Cool. OK. Bye. 564 00:31:21,320 --> 00:31:23,640 SIREN WAILS 565 00:31:27,800 --> 00:31:31,760 PHONE LINE RINGS This is Caleb. Leave a message. 566 00:31:31,760 --> 00:31:34,320 Yo, Caleb, Gus is going to come through. 567 00:31:34,320 --> 00:31:36,720 Give him the electric key, yeah? He'll pattern it. 568 00:31:36,720 --> 00:31:38,880 All right, cool. Call me when you get this. In a bit. 569 00:31:47,280 --> 00:31:49,120 CHATTER 570 00:31:49,120 --> 00:31:51,240 Get your tickets! Sleepover For Change. 571 00:31:51,240 --> 00:31:53,320 Yeah? Don't be late. 572 00:31:53,320 --> 00:31:56,080 Tickets, tickets, get your tickets! 573 00:31:56,080 --> 00:31:58,040 One for 15, four for 50, 574 00:31:58,040 --> 00:31:59,600 Sleepover For Change, 575 00:31:59,600 --> 00:32:02,200 let's get nifty. Thank you. 576 00:32:02,200 --> 00:32:03,440 Ticket! 577 00:32:07,880 --> 00:32:12,000 Incredible. You look so good. You look so sexy! 578 00:32:12,000 --> 00:32:15,520 "Ho-ho-ho! And know me better, man!" 579 00:32:15,520 --> 00:32:17,080 Oh, Femi! 580 00:32:17,080 --> 00:32:18,560 Femi! Femi. Hey. 581 00:32:18,560 --> 00:32:21,760 Do not think that we forgot about you... 582 00:32:21,760 --> 00:32:23,640 ..stud. 583 00:32:23,640 --> 00:32:24,960 Oh, no, no. 584 00:32:27,680 --> 00:32:28,880 Oh. 585 00:32:37,240 --> 00:32:41,080 We want mayhem Femi tonight. Yes, we do. 586 00:32:41,080 --> 00:32:43,520 Yeah? Oh. Um... 587 00:32:43,520 --> 00:32:46,040 ..I have to... 588 00:32:46,040 --> 00:32:49,080 ..I have... I've just... I've got a... 589 00:32:49,080 --> 00:32:51,320 Mate, mate, mate, mate, mate. No. 590 00:32:51,320 --> 00:32:54,400 No, you kick up a fuss when we don't include you, 591 00:32:54,400 --> 00:32:56,880 and then I go and spend a small fucking fortune on these 592 00:32:56,880 --> 00:32:58,800 lovely little jimmy jammies for you. Same day delivery too. 593 00:32:58,800 --> 00:33:02,200 Yeah, same day delivery. Thank you, Graham. And... 594 00:33:02,200 --> 00:33:05,560 ..you can't come? No, no, no, no. No, no. I'm coming. 595 00:33:05,560 --> 00:33:07,400 I'm definitely coming. Swear, yeah. 596 00:33:07,400 --> 00:33:10,760 Yeah? Yeah? OK, Femi. 597 00:33:10,760 --> 00:33:12,800 We ride again, my boys. 598 00:33:12,800 --> 00:33:14,680 Whoa, whoa! 599 00:33:16,360 --> 00:33:20,520 Mr Palmer-Grace, Mrs Carlton said you missed class. 600 00:33:20,520 --> 00:33:22,280 Oh, yeah. 601 00:33:22,280 --> 00:33:23,840 I just...I just felt really bad. 602 00:33:23,840 --> 00:33:24,920 Where were you? 603 00:33:27,680 --> 00:33:30,120 Rupert asked me to drop some homework off 604 00:33:30,120 --> 00:33:32,880 and I stayed more than needed, but not for long. It's just... 605 00:33:34,040 --> 00:33:35,480 ..I think he needs a friend. 606 00:33:35,480 --> 00:33:37,440 Rupert is not your concern. 607 00:33:37,440 --> 00:33:38,960 It's just... 608 00:33:38,960 --> 00:33:42,160 ..I know about the pottery thing. 609 00:33:42,160 --> 00:33:44,080 Well, it's just dicks, Mistress. 610 00:33:44,080 --> 00:33:45,760 I'm not saying I know the whole thing, 611 00:33:45,760 --> 00:33:48,480 but being in that house alone, I don't think it's good for him. 612 00:33:48,480 --> 00:33:51,040 You were not granted permission to leave school grounds. 613 00:33:51,040 --> 00:33:53,800 I won't even mention going to MY house. 614 00:33:55,840 --> 00:33:57,800 You will attend detention this evening, 615 00:33:57,800 --> 00:33:59,800 as well as catch up on the work you missed. 616 00:33:59,800 --> 00:34:02,240 Am I clear? 617 00:34:02,240 --> 00:34:04,160 Am I clear? 618 00:34:04,160 --> 00:34:05,800 Yes, Mistress. 619 00:34:16,600 --> 00:34:18,520 This is hot. 620 00:34:18,520 --> 00:34:21,080 Yeah, it's decent still. 621 00:34:21,080 --> 00:34:23,280 What you so stiff for, man? Be excited! 622 00:34:23,280 --> 00:34:25,240 Be excited! All right, man, all right. Come, man. 623 00:34:25,240 --> 00:34:26,680 Lead the way, innit. 624 00:34:33,880 --> 00:34:36,840 Hey. Oh, hey, um... 625 00:34:36,840 --> 00:34:39,680 ..sorry. Er, I can move, sorry. 626 00:34:39,680 --> 00:34:40,880 No, no, no. It's fine. 627 00:34:40,880 --> 00:34:43,120 There's, um, no space in here. 628 00:34:43,120 --> 00:34:44,320 Are you sure? 629 00:34:44,320 --> 00:34:47,960 No, I'm pretty sure there's space at the back, right? 630 00:34:47,960 --> 00:34:49,240 Not that I can see, you know. 631 00:34:49,240 --> 00:34:52,320 No, no, are you sure there's no space at the back, Toby? 632 00:34:52,320 --> 00:34:54,840 Nope. OK. 633 00:34:55,920 --> 00:34:58,920 What? What, are you lot not chopping no more? 634 00:34:58,920 --> 00:35:01,120 I'm joking, I know you're not chopping. 635 00:35:01,120 --> 00:35:03,600 I'm just enjoying this awkwardness, you know. 636 00:35:03,600 --> 00:35:05,200 Yeah, you enjoy it. 637 00:35:05,200 --> 00:35:07,280 Anyway, I'll go get some popcorn. 638 00:35:07,280 --> 00:35:08,400 Mm-hm. 639 00:35:08,400 --> 00:35:11,240 Do you want some? Nope. Don't say yes. 640 00:35:12,560 --> 00:35:16,760 What an event, right? Yeah. I know. 641 00:35:16,760 --> 00:35:20,720 I got a space over there for us, if you want to...? 642 00:35:20,720 --> 00:35:24,720 Oh, no, I was thinking I would sleep next to the hockey girls. 643 00:35:24,720 --> 00:35:26,400 OK. Mm. 644 00:35:32,760 --> 00:35:34,240 But why? 645 00:35:34,240 --> 00:35:36,280 You know that I'm into girls, right? 646 00:35:36,280 --> 00:35:38,200 You're into girls. 647 00:35:38,200 --> 00:35:39,600 I did know that. 648 00:35:39,600 --> 00:35:41,680 Devonye! Hey! 649 00:35:41,680 --> 00:35:42,920 She's into girls. 650 00:35:55,920 --> 00:35:57,000 PHONE CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS 651 00:35:57,960 --> 00:36:00,200 PHONE VIBRATES 652 00:36:04,960 --> 00:36:07,920 Er...sir? What? 653 00:36:07,920 --> 00:36:10,600 Any chance we can finish early? 654 00:36:10,600 --> 00:36:13,040 Yeah. Yeah, of course. 655 00:36:13,040 --> 00:36:16,400 Yeah. No problem at all. 656 00:36:17,800 --> 00:36:19,520 When you're done. 657 00:36:30,760 --> 00:36:32,480 How are you feeling? 658 00:36:32,480 --> 00:36:34,040 I'm fine. 659 00:36:38,320 --> 00:36:41,200 You always look so handsome in your uniform. 660 00:36:50,000 --> 00:36:52,160 I know a lot has been going on. 661 00:36:54,040 --> 00:36:57,680 The divorce, your father - or lack of. 662 00:36:58,840 --> 00:37:01,920 And it was my suggestion that you stayed at home till you felt better. 663 00:37:01,920 --> 00:37:06,280 But maybe being with your friends might help. 664 00:37:06,280 --> 00:37:07,760 And you being headmistress? 665 00:37:09,560 --> 00:37:12,280 I know it's hard for you and your brother, 666 00:37:12,280 --> 00:37:14,200 but I'm doing good things at St Gilbert's. Right. 667 00:37:14,200 --> 00:37:18,000 Exciting things are happening, happening for you both. 668 00:37:19,640 --> 00:37:23,280 Trust me, it will be worth it. 669 00:37:28,920 --> 00:37:31,440 GRAHAM, Femi-demi-ding-dong! Where are you? 670 00:37:31,440 --> 00:37:33,080 So many skimpy jim-jams. 671 00:37:33,080 --> 00:37:37,080 Oh, um, I downed a half a bottle of vodka 672 00:37:37,080 --> 00:37:38,720 and now I'm steaming. 673 00:37:38,720 --> 00:37:41,560 HE RETCHES 674 00:37:41,560 --> 00:37:43,800 Lightweight! Loser! 675 00:37:43,800 --> 00:37:46,320 Yeah, I've got to sleep it off. 676 00:37:46,320 --> 00:37:49,280 Make sure you send me all the frisky pics. 677 00:37:49,280 --> 00:37:52,000 Of course, baby! We'll send all of them, darling. 678 00:37:54,080 --> 00:37:56,480 Got some paracetamol in my bag. 679 00:37:56,480 --> 00:37:57,760 I'm fine. Thank you. 680 00:37:58,920 --> 00:38:00,480 Do you want to take it from the top? 681 00:38:00,480 --> 00:38:01,520 Yeah. 682 00:38:04,320 --> 00:38:05,360 Er... 683 00:38:09,440 --> 00:38:13,240 Aye, that I had not done a thousand more. 684 00:38:15,080 --> 00:38:17,640 Even now I curse the day, 685 00:38:17,640 --> 00:38:22,960 and yet I think few come within the compass of my curse. 686 00:38:24,320 --> 00:38:26,760 What? Is it shit? Am I shit? 687 00:38:26,760 --> 00:38:28,440 No, nothing. 688 00:38:28,440 --> 00:38:29,560 I'm smiling. 689 00:38:29,560 --> 00:38:30,920 It's really good. Keep going. 690 00:38:34,440 --> 00:38:38,240 Wherein I did not some notorious ill 691 00:38:38,240 --> 00:38:41,520 as kill a man or else... 692 00:38:41,520 --> 00:38:44,120 ..devise the...his... Hmm. 693 00:38:44,120 --> 00:38:49,600 Er, I feel like I want to move towards the audience here. 694 00:38:49,600 --> 00:38:52,160 Maybe talk to them directly? 695 00:38:52,160 --> 00:38:54,280 See what it feels like. 696 00:38:54,280 --> 00:38:59,360 Wherein I did not some notorious ill as kill a man 697 00:38:59,360 --> 00:39:02,000 or else devise his death. 698 00:39:02,000 --> 00:39:05,000 Toby, I need you. 699 00:39:05,000 --> 00:39:06,960 Spring Ball tickets aren't selling like this. 700 00:39:06,960 --> 00:39:10,880 Yeah, well, not everyone's Toby. I got that sauce. 701 00:39:10,880 --> 00:39:13,960 Yeah. And I need the sauce. 702 00:39:13,960 --> 00:39:16,480 You need to join the social committee 703 00:39:17,800 --> 00:39:19,440 Pass. Please. 704 00:39:19,440 --> 00:39:21,760 It needs to be bigger and better than last year. 705 00:39:21,760 --> 00:39:22,920 Don't know why you're asking him. 706 00:39:22,920 --> 00:39:24,880 He might know how to get a big act. 707 00:39:24,880 --> 00:39:25,960 We've already got one. 708 00:39:25,960 --> 00:39:28,440 Felix, what's the name of the band? 709 00:39:28,440 --> 00:39:29,960 Clean Bandit. 710 00:39:29,960 --> 00:39:31,520 Nobody knows who they are. 711 00:39:31,520 --> 00:39:32,640 Yeah, exactly. 712 00:39:32,640 --> 00:39:34,160 And, er, in my opinion, 713 00:39:34,160 --> 00:39:39,320 nobody wants some boring-arse skinny-jean-arse wearing band. 714 00:39:39,320 --> 00:39:40,600 Toby is right. 715 00:39:40,600 --> 00:39:42,040 I want to shake ass. 716 00:39:42,040 --> 00:39:45,480 Well, Felix knows the Clean Bandits personally and can get them 717 00:39:45,480 --> 00:39:48,240 at an affordable price. Thank you, by the way. 718 00:39:48,240 --> 00:39:50,200 You're so sweet. 719 00:39:50,200 --> 00:39:51,920 We could be. Mm. 720 00:39:51,920 --> 00:39:53,960 What's the budget? 721 00:39:55,880 --> 00:39:57,800 More than enough. More than enough for who? 722 00:39:57,800 --> 00:39:59,200 One of my London connects. 723 00:39:59,200 --> 00:40:00,480 Who's your connect? Adele? 724 00:40:00,480 --> 00:40:02,040 Whoa, whoa, whoa. Not Adele. 725 00:40:02,040 --> 00:40:04,360 I can't shake ass to Adele, huh? Obviously. 726 00:40:04,360 --> 00:40:05,880 Why are we entertaining this? 727 00:40:05,880 --> 00:40:09,320 Fam, what about Unknown T? He's from London, right? 728 00:40:09,320 --> 00:40:10,880 I love him. He wishes. 729 00:40:10,880 --> 00:40:13,920 Unknown T? Not a problem. 730 00:40:13,920 --> 00:40:17,000 What? Yeah, me and Unknown T go way back. 731 00:40:17,000 --> 00:40:18,680 His mum used to invite me around for dinner. 732 00:40:18,680 --> 00:40:21,120 I knew you had the sauce. 733 00:40:21,120 --> 00:40:23,680 Welcome to the committee. 734 00:40:23,680 --> 00:40:24,920 Fair enough, fam. 735 00:40:27,040 --> 00:40:29,480 If you think I'm impressed, I'm not. 736 00:40:30,760 --> 00:40:33,800 Well, not everything's about you, Abby. 737 00:40:33,800 --> 00:40:36,240 Well, I know you're bullshitting. 738 00:40:36,240 --> 00:40:39,800 And I for one can't wait to see your spectacular downfall. 739 00:40:39,800 --> 00:40:41,320 Oooh. 740 00:40:47,320 --> 00:40:48,520 Wow. 741 00:40:48,520 --> 00:40:50,240 What a turnout. 742 00:40:50,240 --> 00:40:53,520 Tonight we've taken a huge step together towards 743 00:40:53,520 --> 00:40:55,320 a progressive future. 744 00:40:55,320 --> 00:40:56,400 I'm proud of us all. 745 00:40:56,400 --> 00:41:00,760 I think we've collected, like, £500. 746 00:41:00,760 --> 00:41:02,920 These whites be guilting. 747 00:41:05,000 --> 00:41:07,520 OK, sorry, I'm not really one for speeches, 748 00:41:07,520 --> 00:41:10,840 so I wrote a poem instead. 749 00:41:10,840 --> 00:41:12,120 Jesus Christ. 750 00:41:13,600 --> 00:41:16,560 Something I was going to save for the showcase, 751 00:41:16,560 --> 00:41:19,280 but thought I'd give you a little sneak preview. 752 00:41:19,280 --> 00:41:20,840 Mother, May I. 753 00:41:24,280 --> 00:41:27,000 Mother, may I 754 00:41:27,000 --> 00:41:31,280 break these chains that bind, 755 00:41:31,280 --> 00:41:32,840 Erase the hate, 756 00:41:32,840 --> 00:41:36,040 The walls that blind? 757 00:41:37,280 --> 00:41:41,200 Mother, may I dream 758 00:41:41,200 --> 00:41:45,800 Without the fear, embrace the love and hold it near? 759 00:41:45,800 --> 00:41:51,080 Mother, speak the truths long concealed. 760 00:41:51,080 --> 00:41:55,320 Heal the wounds, let scars be revealed. 761 00:41:56,440 --> 00:41:58,240 Is it just me, or do you find this, like, 762 00:41:58,240 --> 00:41:59,680 super, super cringe. Sssh! 763 00:41:59,680 --> 00:42:03,560 Mother, may I 764 00:42:03,560 --> 00:42:07,320 Be who I want to be 765 00:42:07,320 --> 00:42:11,440 See who I want to see... What? 766 00:42:11,440 --> 00:42:14,960 ..give what I want to... 767 00:42:14,960 --> 00:42:17,080 Mm. Mm-mm. ..give. 768 00:42:17,080 --> 00:42:21,840 Mother, may I cry... 769 00:42:21,840 --> 00:42:24,120 SHE GIGGLES 770 00:42:24,120 --> 00:42:27,000 ..for a cry? 771 00:42:27,000 --> 00:42:30,720 Mother, may I? 772 00:42:33,880 --> 00:42:36,800 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 773 00:42:38,960 --> 00:42:41,960 What did you think? That was amazing. I filmed it. 774 00:42:41,960 --> 00:42:43,720 We can put it on the Just Giving page. Excellent. 775 00:42:43,720 --> 00:42:46,920 I have it all planned. Mm-hm. Yeah. Cool. 776 00:42:58,640 --> 00:43:00,680 Why did you end things with him 777 00:43:00,680 --> 00:43:03,080 since you're clearly still obsessed? 778 00:43:03,080 --> 00:43:05,040 I'm not obsessed. 779 00:43:05,040 --> 00:43:07,360 Babe... I'm not! 780 00:43:08,560 --> 00:43:10,600 It was just so hard to get a read on him. 781 00:43:10,600 --> 00:43:13,200 He's so bloody hard to talk to. 782 00:43:13,200 --> 00:43:15,760 LAUGHTER Yeah, it seems so. 783 00:43:33,560 --> 00:43:35,960 So what was all that about with Xiang? 784 00:43:35,960 --> 00:43:39,600 Nothing. You promised you'd tell me. 785 00:43:39,600 --> 00:43:43,360 All right. Well, I may or may not have had someone over that 786 00:43:43,360 --> 00:43:44,520 I shouldn't have. 787 00:43:44,520 --> 00:43:46,760 SHE GASPS 788 00:43:46,760 --> 00:43:48,760 I know. He told me. 789 00:43:48,760 --> 00:43:50,560 I convinced him not to say anything to Stanley. 790 00:43:50,560 --> 00:43:53,280 It'd be pointless, as he'd be gone by the time he got back. 791 00:43:53,280 --> 00:43:55,240 You're welcome. 792 00:43:55,240 --> 00:43:56,480 Thank you. 793 00:44:00,600 --> 00:44:02,280 PHONE BEEPS 794 00:44:02,280 --> 00:44:04,480 Phones on silent. These people! 795 00:44:04,480 --> 00:44:05,840 Sorry. 796 00:44:07,920 --> 00:44:09,880 Give me...give me a second. 797 00:44:16,160 --> 00:44:18,560 PHONE LINE RINGS 798 00:44:20,040 --> 00:44:21,080 What's up? 799 00:44:22,760 --> 00:44:24,880 Your little brother hasn't come home. 800 00:44:24,880 --> 00:44:26,360 Why didn't you tell me? 801 00:44:26,360 --> 00:44:28,280 And worry you for what? 802 00:44:28,280 --> 00:44:32,080 Yeah, he's, um...he's probably at a friend's house. Exactly! 803 00:44:32,080 --> 00:44:34,520 Look, don't worry about us. 804 00:44:34,520 --> 00:44:36,080 Go to your bed. 805 00:44:45,360 --> 00:44:49,160 PHONE LINE RINGS This is Caleb. Leave a message. 806 00:44:49,160 --> 00:44:53,880 Caleb...if I have to come to London to find you, bro, 807 00:44:53,880 --> 00:44:58,200 I swear down... 808 00:44:58,200 --> 00:45:01,400 Just...just go home and call me back. Yeah? 809 00:45:03,960 --> 00:45:08,240 Murky Muds by Fabian Johnson, Thomas Prendergast, Jamie Shield 810 00:45:08,240 --> 00:45:09,560 No 811 00:45:09,560 --> 00:45:11,120 get more grub in 812 00:45:11,120 --> 00:45:13,080 I can't lie, man 813 00:45:14,640 --> 00:45:16,480 high, damn 814 00:45:19,720 --> 00:45:21,400 and they ain't huskies 815 00:45:23,040 --> 00:45:24,680 and I don't trust it 816 00:45:24,680 --> 00:45:26,880 stay away from me 817 00:45:26,880 --> 00:45:28,120 No